Coming out of the honeymoon phase can be a difficult time and you may find yourself questioning why you don’t feel the same way as you once felt for the person you love. Unconditional love is love without strings attached. There are no conditions and you love without looking at what the other person does for you in return. It is quite an interesting concept. So, how many of your relationships would you define as being unconditional?
When you think about the feeling of love, it is often stimulated by a specific person but you experience the emotion within you. The feeling can be so overwhelming, in a positive way of course, that the world around you seems more bright, colourful and you might even have a spring in your step! Love can essentially be defined as an experience.
You are using the person you love as a key to unlock this amazing experience. Sadhguru, an Indian yogi and author, poses a question. ‘Why are you using a key when there is no lock, when there is no door and when there is no barrier?’
He uses this analogy to explain. 25 years ago, if you owned an Ambassador (a car) you would always park on a gradient because you were aware that in the morning you would need two people to push the car. Now, all cars are self-starting. If you view yourself as an institute of technology, why haven’t you upgraded to self-start when it comes to love?
Imagine if you could always have a spring in your step without needing someone to bring it out of you or stimulate you! It is very important that you are a self-start machine otherwise after some time you try to extract happiness from the other person. This is when you start to feel like you are falling out of love.
Sadhguru goes on to say that when it comes to love you can approach it in two ways. You either want to extract something from somebody or you want to share something with somebody. The problem with extracting is when the person does not want to share, this can affect your happiness.
Find your happiness within yourself so you don’t have to rely on someone to experience love. If you start to love yourself unconditionally, your relationship with yourself and the people you surround yourself will only improve!
One way to start your journey is discovering your own love language. There are 5 different love languages: words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, acts of service and touch. Figuring out your love language can help you to show the same love you show to others to yourself. Learn more here.
At Love Yourself, we want you to be your happiest and healthiest (mentally and physically). Take control of your happiness and learn how to activate your happiness chemicals, also known as the happiness DOSE. Here is a breakdown of the role of each chemical and some ways to activate them.
There is only one person who is with you for your whole life and that person is you! Begin your self-love journey with the person you spend most time with today and experience love without relying on another person!
By Pooja Depala